Welcome to Fanboy Appreciation Week! For an entire week, the ONE SHOTS is releasing content dedicated only to the guys that make K-pop a sexy place. They may seem rare, but fanboys, you’re not alone.
There are many hardships I have being a fanboy. But the worst, by far, are the silly things people say to me. I made a list of the top 8 things I am sick and tired of hearing as a fanboy. So, after you all read this list, how about we stop the madness once and for all?
1. *THE STARE*
About 60% of the time before anyone says anything to me when I mention that I like K-pop, I get the stare. This stare is generally a stare of confusion or nothingness, almost as if they don’t know what to say next. I then try and follow up this uncomfortable silence with, “I know it sounds weird. But the music is really good. I just can’t help it!” That is then followed up by the look away, as seen here.
2. ARE YOU GAY?
This is the question I get most of the time. Not sure how being a fanboy equates with being gay, especially when my ultimate bias is SISTAR. Are you saying that if I only liked western music I would be straight? Well. Since I like western and eastern music, perhaps I am bisexual. Before I go off into a long tangent on this ignorant ass question, let me ask you this: Does the music you listen to determine your sexual orientation?
I have all day to wait for your answer.
3. YOU MUST HAVE HAD A KOREAN GIRLFRIEND IN ORDER FOR YOU TO KNOW ABOUT THIS. YOU LIKE KOREAN WOMEN?
No I haven’t had a Korean girlfriend, although I wouldn’t mind. (I’m coming for you Hyorin.) Isn’t it possible I discovered this on my own? Come on people! The 21st century offers unlimited resources on discovering many things, even videos on G-Dragon’s private instagram.
4. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I’ve heard this question at least once at every K-concert I have been to. Last time I checked, I paid my ticket to sit here heffa. And for the record, Oppa will never love you because he will never know you.
5. YOU’RE TOO MANLY TO LIKE K-POP
What does that shit even mean? So what if I’m 6’1 weighing in at 205 pounds. Have you seen me cut wood with an axe, pull a car with my teeth or mow some grass while wearing a Spartan helmet? Yeah, I didn’t think so. And if I did do all of these things, I could still love K-pop.
6. YOU’RE DEFINITELY NOT BLACK
*Sigh.* Where do I even go with this one? I was born and raised by two African-American parents; so yes, I am Black. I’m guessing this statement was made because Asian and White people are the only ones allowed to like K-pop. That is as dumb as saying only Black people are allowed to listen to gospel, jazz, R&B, hip-hop and pop since all of these musical genres originated from the Black experience. Come on now mate. Come off it!
7. DON’T YOU FEEL ASHAMED BEING THE ONLY GUY HERE?
Actually no. I don’t. In some ways I have an advantage being a gender minority in the K-pop world. I get a chance to be in the background when I deem it necessary because no one really likes the fanboys. But because there are so few of us, I can also decide to be in the foreground when I desire.
And for the last question!
8. ARE YOU SURE YOU’RE NOT GAY?
You better start running before I count to three.
One.
Two.
Oops.
What other things should you never say to a fanboy?
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